The gift of Swartzy Jr.

christmas babyUpdate!

Mrs. Swartzy, much to our happiness, has passed the 37-week mark of her pregnancy without giving birth to Swartzy Jr.

If you follow along with the blog, you will recall that we were worried that Swartzy Jr. would come too early since Mrs. Swartzy was told at her last doctor’s appointment that she was three centimeters dilated.

Her next appointment is in two days. Her hope was to make it at least to that date before giving labor. Fingers crossed.

Originally I was startled by the news that Swartzy Jr. was coming early. Now I’m really looking forward to it. While I was feeling him move around in Mrs. Swartzy’s stomach last night, I wished that I could see him and hold him in my arms. If I’m lucky, my wish will come true soon.

In the meantime, we’ll continue to go back and forth with names. The other night Mrs. Swartzy was bringing up new names we’ve never even discussed before. That frustrated me. I thought we had a final three.

Sorry Swartzy Jr. Maybe we’ll just call you “Baby Cakes”. Continue reading

Being a good parent

parentIt’s early on a Sunday morning and Mrs. Swartzy is telling me she might have had a contraction last night – but nothing constant. We still have a few days to go for her to get to 37 weeks pregnant.

As relatively young people, we don’t really have lives outside of home and work. I’m writing very early on a Sunday morning because we went to bed early on a Saturday night. That’s usually the case. We go to bed the same time and get up the same time, whether it’s a work day or weekend.

I’m very introverted and really enjoy home time. Mrs. Swartzy likes to be out and about, but isn’t fond of extended social interactions.

I’m satisfied with our social lives – however limited they may be. To be honest, I get enough social interaction at work each day that I usually come home exhausted.

What I’m getting at is this should bode well for us as parents. There isn’t a lot that will take us away from Swartzy Jr. and we’ll have a lot of home time with him. That’s a good thing, since we both work and will be away from him during the day.

I think we’ll be good parents. I know Mrs. Swartzy will be a good mother. If you recall, she gets shit done. In addition to that, she is very meticulous. She does things the right way. She is a great role model. She is caring and compassionate.

I am lucky to have her, and Swartzy Jr. will be lucky to have her.

Me? I think I’ll be okay. For one, Mrs. Swartzy will keep me in line. She’ll make sure I’m a good father.

But I’m driven to be a good father on my own. I don’t know a lot about being a father, a mentor, a parent, but I’m looking forward to learning. I’m looking forward to raising Swartzy Jr. from a baby, to a boy and finally a young man.

Mrs. Swartzy and I will both have high expectations of Swartzy Jr. because we have high expectations for ourselves as parents. It is incumbent upon us to help him reach his goals and our goals for him.

I don’t care what he wants to be in life. He can work for movers in Buffalo, NY or be a garbage man in Erie, Pa. or a doctor in Cleveland, Ohio. Continue reading

What’s in a name?

my name isWith Swartzy Jr. now coming much sooner than expected, the pressure is on to choose a name for him.

I thought that this would be the easy part. It’s been the hardest. Go figure.

Over time I’ve learned to embrace my own name. If anything it is unique.

Swartz Cocpa.

Swartzy Cocpa to my closest friends. Yes, that includes you.

When my dad was growing up, there was a hardware store around the corner from the family home called Swartz Hardware. He and my grandpa spent a lot of time in that store gathering tools and supplies for home do-it-yourself projects. They spent much more time working together on those projects.

My dad has always been fond of those memories and times working with his father. To always remind him of those memories and times, he named me after a family-owned hardware store that has been out of business for years.

I don’t hold it against him. I now love the name because of the meaning. It’s me.

In case you were wondering about my last name, Cocpa isn’t really my last name. It’s a shortened version of a long Italian surname. Hey, I can’t reveal everything here. I don’t want my identity stolen! Continue reading

Swartzy Junior coming ahead of schedule

baby birthSwartzy Jr. may come sooner than we all expected. Mrs. Swartzy had a doctor’s appointment today, and there she learned that she is three centimeters dilated with 70 percent effacement … whatever that means.

Well, what it means is our son will be here before his due date, perhaps even in the next few days.

From what I understand labor begins when dilation reaches 10 centimeters and effacement 100 percent. I’ll try to slide that away in my memory bank for when the next Swartzy comes.

Anyway, I had it in my head that I had two or three weeks before Swarty Jr.’s official arrival on earth. I am a man of routine and hate adapting on the fly. To say the least, I am a little thrown off by all of this.

Shit is getting really real, really fast, and now I know I’m not ready for it all. It sure is going to be one hell of a ride these next few weeks and months.

That being said, I think we’re as prepared as we’re going to be, thanks to Mrs. Swartzy’s dedication and effort. She is a great planner and organizer. She gets shit done. She never procrastinates. God bless her.

If I was in charge, we wouldn’t even have a crib, car seat, onesies, or diapers at this point. Thank goodness I’m not in charge. I don’t get shit done. Just ask my friends at Amherst, NY Plumbing.

One thing I actually did get is installing the car seat in the back of Mrs. Swartzy’s vehicle last weekend. I read the directions front to back. I installed it precisely per the manual. Still, Mrs. Swartzy insists that it isn’t in there correctly. Continue reading

Massage your what?

A few weeks ago when I was out of town for work, Mrs. Swartzy texted something she had read about the partner massaging the perineum during the final months of pregnancy.

perineumPerineum? I knew I had heard that word somewhere before. I flipped through the files of my memory bank. Perineum?

Perineum?

Oh, perineum?

I had learned the word at an all-day child birth class me and Mrs. Swartzy attended a few weeks earlier. It is the area between the anus and the vagina. Some have called it the taint.

I paused in terror. I don’t think I could give a taint massage, I thought to myself.

Courageously, I texted back: “Would you like me to do that?”

I waited in horror. I began sweating.

Mrs. Swartzy replied: “I think I’d be too embarrassed.”

Thank you Jesus!

Not that I wouldn’t do that for Mrs. Swartzy. It would be challenging, awkward, and uncomfortable. But I could pull it off if I had to.

I think. Continue reading

Ready or not, here comes Swartzy Jr.

babyAs you know – or should know if you read the about section of this website/blog – I will be a new father very soon. This will be my first taste of fatherhood. I’m excited, afraid and everything in between.

I don’t know what to expect or how our lives will change exactly. That’s the scary part.

But that’s also exciting. This will be a new experience for both me and Mrs. Swartzy. I’m looking forward to meeting Swartzy Jr. I can’t wait to hold him in my arms. Being a parent, I feel, will be challenging, but also rewarding.

I hope little Swartzy is a good sleeper, well behaved, and doesn’t cry a lot. Some I days I don’t have much patience. Some days I feel tired and grumpy even when I get a decent night’s sleep. Some days I feel like I have a million things to do and will never get them done.

Adding a child on top of that brings me great stress. How will we do it? Can we do it?

I’m not sure of the how part, but I know we can do it. I know that I need to step up and do more things around the house to help Mrs. Swartzy. I need to learn to breathe and relax. It will take some time. Continue reading