Tag Archives: parenting


Swartzy Junior coming ahead of schedule

baby birthSwartzy Jr. may come sooner than we all expected. Mrs. Swartzy had a doctor’s appointment today, and there she learned that she is three centimeters dilated with 70 percent effacement … whatever that means.

Well, what it means is our son will be here before his due date, perhaps even in the next few days.

From what I understand labor begins when dilation reaches 10 centimeters and effacement 100 percent. I’ll try to slide that away in my memory bank for when the next Swartzy comes.

Anyway, I had it in my head that I had two or three weeks before Swarty Jr.’s official arrival on earth. I am a man of routine and hate adapting on the fly. To say the least, I am a little thrown off by all of this.

Shit is getting really real, really fast, and now I know I’m not ready for it all. It sure is going to be one hell of a ride these next few weeks and months.

That being said, I think we’re as prepared as we’re going to be, thanks to Mrs. Swartzy’s dedication and effort. She is a great planner and organizer. She gets shit done. She never procrastinates. God bless her.

If I was in charge, we wouldn’t even have a crib, car seat, onesies, or diapers at this point. Thank goodness I’m not in charge. I don’t get shit done. Just ask my friends at Amherst, NY Plumbing.

One thing I actually did get is installing the car seat in the back of Mrs. Swartzy’s vehicle last weekend. I read the directions front to back. I installed it precisely per the manual. Still, Mrs. Swartzy insists that it isn’t in there correctly. Continue reading